Jokes biography

Experience in creating a personal page on Wikipedia, articles about a significant person, blanks for a biographical book and the like, unconditionally deserving of reading. And it is clear that Chuck Norris does not celebrate round dates: these round dates celebrate Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is not accepted to wish for health and strength - on the contrary, Chuck Norris desires health and strength.

After all, for 85 years he remains the only one who was able to count to endlessly twice, to beat the wall in tennis is also twice, to play the guitar and win, and also look into the eyes of his reflection so that it the first to look away. The newborn himself took the Indian mother from the hospital. Later, Wilma Norris worked as a teacher at a Sunday school and turned out to be a strong nut: she lived a year - in early childhood, Chuck Norris saw no one except the doll of Chucky and the bear Grisley.

Chuck Norris was asleep with a living bear, and the cradle served him as a simulator for working out strokes with his foot from a turn. Chuck Norris used the nightlight not because he was afraid of the dark, but because the darkness was afraid of Chuck Norris. Dreams were afraid to dream of him without permission. Although actually Chuck Norris never sleeps: he is waiting. And when Chuck Norris grew a little, he became the only child in the world who managed to convince his grandmother that he was not hungry.

The best means of persuasion of Chuck Norris turned out to be a kick from the turn. Since childhood, Chuck Norris did not shave: he just beat himself in his face with his foot from a turn. But not because he was afraid to cut off with a razor, because the only thing that Chuck Norris could cut is Chuck Norris. Other children never tried to sneak up to Chuck Norris: he always knows where the one who creeps up.

And when Chuck Norris played hide and seek with other children, he was always found the last, although Chuck Norris never hides. For several years of nomadic life of the Norris family, the trailer ended with the divorce of the parents of Chuck Norris. Then Chuck Norris pulled a car out of plasticine, on which he was able to go around all the continents. At the age of five, Chuck Norris was in Europe, met Hitler and killed him with his foot with a turn.

And in Africa, he broke his foot from a turn into the horses of the horse: her descendants are now called giraffes. After the divorce, the mother of young Norris got married again. The stepfather George Knight noticed that the stepson is special. Chuck Norris won the game “Monopoly” in one move. The sea never washed off the sand castles that the young Chuck Norris built on the shore: it was afraid.

And when Chuck Norris sailed into the sea, the waves adjusted their rhythm to his rings. By the way, Chuck Norris learned to swim in the lava of the volcano. To this day, when Chuck Norris falls into the water, it does not wet - this water is champing. Every morning, Chuck Norris still spreads a knife on bread, brews a tea bag in his mouth or chews grains of coffee with boiling water and makes the onion cry.

And when Chuck Norris puts his fingers in the outlet, the current receives a stroke Chuck Norris. In the bedroom, Chuck Norris clicks the switch key and manages to lie on the bed before the light goes out. But in the dark, the shadow of Chuck Norris is visible. An impressed stepfather began to instill a stepson love of sports. At competitions at the school, Chuck Norris was always the first, because he did not let the opponents start.

If Chuck Norris wanted to participate in the Olympics, all the gold medals in all disciplines would be delivered to him in advance at the house with an express mail. In general, any global records belong to Chuck Norris, and the Guinness Book of Records lists those who managed to approach them as much as possible. In high school, Chuck Norris dreamed of becoming a policeman, but at the age of 18 he married a classmate Diana Cholek, because even a calendar could inspire confidence in the future.

And if all men have one testicle smaller, and the other is more, then Chuck Norris has each egg more than the other. A year after marriage, he ended with the school - naturally, with a blow with his foot from a turn. In Russia, the military registration and enlistment office himself would hide from Chuck Norris, until Chuck is 27 years old. He began the service with the fact that he had already officially received the nickname Chuck, threw a grenade and killed fifty people, and then the grenade exploded.

He also got off with racism: he beat the white racists to yellowness or to black and thus proved that Ras did not exist. Zen Buddhists were delighted that Chuck Norris could clap his palm. And he began to attend the sports section from Korean boredom: he first practiced judo, then Tansudo. Since then, the taxi drivers who are carrying Chuck Norris have learned to spread thanks to bread.

The rest of humanity is grateful to Chuck Norris for opening his own martial arts Chun Kuk Do martial arts, and did not go to criminals. After all, a blow with a foot from a turn is the last thing that any opponent of Chuck Norris sees. One minute of laughter Chuck Norris takes away the rest of his life from everyone to whom he laughed in the face. Others fulfill any request from Chuck Norris even before he pronounces her.

He does not go hunting, because it implies the possibility of failure: Chuck Norris goes to kill. If the enemy sees Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris saw him before.If the enemy does not see Chuck Norris, this enemy remains to live a few seconds. In addition, Chuck Norris is the only one who could sit out for a lifelong time from the call to the call and be released. In the year, another kind woman made Dina - an illegitimate daughter.

The wife intercepted the baton and was resolved in the year the second son, Eric. Chuck Norris, starting with business on martial arts, remains faithful to them all his life. He reached the tenth of Dana in Tansudo, became the owner of the tenth given in Sito-Ryu Karate and the seven-time champion of the world in karate, received the eighth given to Taekwondo, the Black Belt and the Third Dan in the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

There, Chuck Norris tells how in the middle of X he trained with Bruce Lee and persuaded him to include blows to his arsenal with his feet and above. Bruce knew how to do this, but considered such a technique not effective in a real match, and in sparring once thoroughly added Chuck. Nevertheless, Chuck managed to explain that the cinema is built on other laws: the spectacle is more important there.

Chuck Norris himself brought the same martial arts to the cinema. He gave Karate lessons to Steve McKuin and took advantage of the recommendation of the Star film actor. However, the role in the film of the year “The Destroyer Team” was not an event. Chuck Norris was noticed only in M, after the release of the film “The Way of the Dragon” with Bruce Lee: a friend and partner was the only one to whom Chuck Norris hopelessly lost in the frame.

The film soon received a cult status, and Chuck Norris began a film career. However, the Hong Kong militant of the year “The yellow-faced tiger” with his participation turned out to be how unsuccessful, that the producers released the film on the screens only a few years later: the audience knew the picture called “Masions in San Francisco”. From the failure of Chuck Norris made two conclusions for himself.

He refused to continue to fulfill the roles of negative heroes and, not ashamed of his age, at 34 he became a student of the Acting School of Acting Estella Harmon. The actor’s popularity grew, but Chuck Norris was and remains unpretentious in everyday life. When he decides to cook eggs, the eggs are broken and waiting. Chuck Norris does not eat honey: he eats bees.

Once he ate three two -kilogram steaks in an hour, and the waitress pleased the waitress for the first 45 minutes. And when they say that Chuck Norris is partially an Indian-Cherki-this is true, but not because of his mother-Indian: he ate an Indian. Sometimes the movie interfered with sports, but Chuck Norris found a way out. Once, when the filming coincided with the next world championship, he continued to work in the frame, and his beard won the championship.

Having made a springboard in the cinema from the martial arts and remembering how Steve McQueen compiled him a patronage of the producers, Chuck Norris helped the film career with a young talented foreigner. By the way, Aaron, the younger brother of Chuck, also served in South Korea, worked in the movie as a stuntman and went an acting path in inexpensive militants, and after a dozen roles he switched to scenario work and from a year to directing.

In the year, the spouses marked the end of the superuspre series "Cool Walker" by the birth of Gemini. Politicians are grateful to Chuck Norris for not taking up politics. If Chuck Norris decided to run for US presidency, even the opposition would unanimously vote for him. And when the killer shot President John Kennedy, Chuck Norris reflected all the bullets with his beard: Kennedy's head burst with amazement.

By the way, under the beard of Chuck Norris, not a chin is hidden, but a third fist. In the year, Chuck Norris pleased the fans, appearing as a meme in the militant “Undressed 2”, and helped the old kinosa friends collect a third of a billion dollars at the box office. The luck did not leave Chuck Norris: a aquifer was discovered on his ranch, and in the year Chuck Norris and his wife founded a successful company for a sinking drinking water.

ITSHNIKS do not get tired of thanking Chuck Norris for not doing it. After all, when Chuck Norris glance at the monitor, large drops of sweat gather from fear at the keyboard. Chuck Norris without problems divides any number into zero, and it is divided. The one to whom Chuck Norris calls on the mobile phone, only two functions work on the phone: accept a call or accept a call.

Chuck Norris does not use GPS - this is the world adjusts to his geopolia. And Chuck Norris can remove the “basket” in Windows.

Rumor has it that Chuck Norris is actually died a long time ago, but death and those around are afraid to tell him about it. So or not, but in the year the second action-role game for mobile devices was released, which uses the popularity of Chuck Norris. The acting school still makes itself felt: Chuck Norris tells jokes so that even Dart Vader laughs. When he says his crown Kinofraz: “Everything will be fine!

True, he is so cool that he never cries. Never. The smile of Chuck Norris is still glowing in the dark. In the morning, slippers bring him a dog. In childhood, Chuck Norris reduced Socrates and does not read books: they themselves tell him everything.