Biography of Alyonushki

What injuries did they go through? Image: Viktor Vasnetsov’s picture “Alenushka”, in fairy tales, as in a magic mirror, typical destructive family scenarios are reflected, Gennady Maleichuk and Natalya Olifirovich, candidates of psychological sciences, supervisors, gestalt-therapists with summer experience of work are reflected. In his book “Tales on the couch.

Kai, Alyonushka, the dead princess, Koshchei immortal and other characters through the eyes of psychotherapists. "They explore the reasons for the actions of fairy -tale heroes as customers who turned to a specialist for psychological help. The heroes of the world famous cartoons-“Shrek”, “Kung Fu Panda”, “Rapunzel” and others fell on the imaginary couch. With the permission of the Bombor publishing house, Lenta.

In a fairy tale, Alyonushka appears as a caring sister who takes care of his brother after the death of his parents. Because of his own disobedience, the brother turns into a goat, but Alyonushka continues to patiently take care of him even after creating his own family. An evil witch tries to destroy Alyonushka and destroy her family life. She drowns Alyonushka, takes her place near her husband and wants to destroy Ivanushka.

However, Alyonushka manages to save, Ivanushka turns from a kid back into a boy, and a evil witch is punished. After all, a person develops sequentially, through interaction with the world, the environment. And why, at some stages of life, our behavior in any situation is the norm, and later under similar conditions is the same behavior is considered inadequate?

Let's figure it out. After interaction with someone, we have an experience that later becomes part of our personality. Experience gives us confidence, the ability to plan and build our life. To be with others and to be yourself is the two sides of the same medal, because it is impossible to be yourself in the absence of other people. But in co -dependent relationships, the balance of “give - take” is violated.

Usually, a co -dependent person has a feeling that he gives much more than he receives: “I have invested so much in these relations! He claimed that there are two types of fear. The first is fear of life. Its bright characteristic is the need depending on the other. It manifests itself in a complete abandonment, of its identity.

Such a person is just a shadow of the one he loves. The second type of fear of Rank called the fear of death. It is associated with the complete absorption of others, the loss of independence. The psychoanalyst believed that the first type of fear is more typical for women, and the second for men. In the course of development and interaction with the environment, the child changes himself and changes ways to satisfy different needs.

Simply put, his adult behavior is not a “holographic reflection” of children's experience. It is clear that at the stage of infancy, co -dependence, or, more precisely, the merger of the mother and the child, is a necessary condition for the survival of the latter. Without the help of a mother, a baby cannot take care of himself, consume food, etc. A small child does not exist on its own, he is always next to an adult - a mother or another person.

For example, the British pediatrician Donald Winnikott put forward the idea that in the process of development, the child passes the path on a state of absolute dependence to the state of dependence relative. So that the child can go this path, there should be a “good mother” next to him. That is, not ideal or hyper -beeping, but one that can maintain the normal standard of life of the child, take care of him and respond to requests.

If the baby was developing normally, he received care and support, then in the future he will be able to build life on his own. But if the child did not pass the stage of psychological autonomy, could not become independent, then, most likely, in adulthood he will fall into co -dependence. He did not form clear personal boundaries, he does not know what kind of person he is, what desires and dreams he has.

He does not have me, separate from his parents. The feeling of my I allows me to declare myself, rely on my inner strength, take responsibility for your behavior, and not expect someone to control you. This is a kind of second birth - psychological, the birth of their own Self. Such people are able to enter into close relationships, without losing themselves. Frame: Cartoon “Sister Alyonushka and Brother Ivanushka” Hungarian psychiatrist Margaret Maler believed that for the successful development of the psychological autonomy of the child, it is necessary that both his parents have psychological autonomy.

From the tale it is known that the parents of Alyonushki and Ivanushki died, leaving their son to the care of the eldest daughter. Alyonushka is at the age when you can get married: presumably, she is about 16 years old. Ivanushka, a child who does not listen to his sister, is not able to keep prohibitions and obligations in his memory for a long time. That is, he does not form a superego.

Most likely, Ivanushka is from 3 to 5 years. The death of parents is the loss of not just a familiar environment, it is the loss of the first objects of love and affection.Such experiences can bring chaos to the life of both a child and an adult, however, if destructive behavior lasts a long time, two assumptions can be put forward. The first is that the death of the parent responded with a strong injury, with which a person could not cope.

The second is that he was so before the loss. Shot: Cartoon “Sister Alyonushka and Brother Ivanushka”, it was the second assumption that formed the basis of our analysis of the behavior of Alyonushka. In our opinion, its sacrifice, meek subordination, the inability to fight for itself, the lack of own desires and life only as a function allows you to describe it as a co -dependent personality.

The need for intimacy and love, unsatisfied in childhood led Alyonushka for the readiness to be arbitrarily long in destructive relationships, while the illusion was alive that she was not alone. This way to cope with the fear of an independent life leads to a loss of oneself. But this loss to the girl is easier to endure than loneliness. Co -dependence is a phenomenon resembling dependence, its mirror reflection.

The main psychological characteristics of any dependence and co -dependence are the triad: obsessive, incessant thoughts about the object of co -dependence: mother, wife, son “How is she there without me? I worry "; the use of such an immature mechanism of psychological defense as the denial “I have everything is in order”, “I do not need help”; Loss of control over your life.

Alyonushka is a typical representative of co -dependent personalities. She is not just attached to Ivanushka - she is literally chained to him at the beginning of the fairy tale her patience is striking. He and his brother go to the wide field. Ivanushka asks to drink, and Alyonushka calmly explains what needs to be wait to reach the well. But Ivanushka is extremely impatient and impulsive, which is quite natural for both children and adult dependent.

He offers Alyonushka compromise options: to bread water from traces left by various pets. The brother obeyed, went on. The sun is high, the well is far away, the heat is pestering, the sweat appears. The horse's hoof is full of water. Ivanushka sighed, went on again. They go, go, the sun is high, the well is far away, the heat is pestering, the sweat appears. The goat is full of water.

Ivanushka says: - Sister Alyonushka, there is no urine: I will get out of the hoof! Ivanushka did not obey and drunk from the goat hoof. He got drunk and became a goat's alena, a brother, and instead of Ivanushka, a white kid runs after her. Alyonushka burst with tears, sat on Stokok - she cries, and the kid jumps near her. Look, Alyonushka does not express aggression, is not angry with Ivanushka.

She is filled with tears, while he continues to jump next to her sister. A co -dependent person does not live his life. He is soldered, merged with the life of another, and he experiences all his problems as his own. In such conditions, my own I do not develop. Shot: Cartoon "Sister Alyonushka and Brother Ivanushka" Alyonushka, almost an adult, in a collision with a difficult situation, plunges into sadness.

She loses the ability to act, does not try to find a way out. The heroine is completely disorganized and confused. She lost control of her life. Obviously, we are all in the moments of unexpected changes in life, we are confused and confused. A person can be injured or disorganized for a more or less long period of time. However, an integral personality is in forces after a while mobilize and adapt to changes.

The co -dependent person has lost this ability. He, in fact, cannot change anything himself, because the other determines the course of his life. The famous Russian psychologist Boris Brother put forward the idea that getting pleasure without effort is the path to the alcohol psyche. Ivanushka is a vivid confirmation of this idea. The boy does not know how to endure, is not able to withstand stress for a long time.

This behavior is normal for a small child, but unacceptable for an adult. However, this is how adult addicts behave - alcoholics, drug addicts, players, when a sister, wife, mother or other co -dependent persuade them not to drink, do not sniff, not to prick. A one or another hoof is always found on the path of "Ivanushki", having drunk the water from which they lose their human appearance.

The inability to resist the actions that reduce the anxiety is explained by the following: co -dependent and dependent people are not able to withstand tension. This ability in a person arises quite early and it is associated with the satisfaction of needs.